Cougar, Sugar mum, MILF....whatever.

BEN; Hey guys, I just came across this word "MILF", what does it mean?


CHARLIE; Are you sure you want to know?


JOE; I don't think he wants to know.


BEN; I just asked.


CHARLIE; Mum I Like To F*ck.


BEN; What!?


JOE; That is it.


BEN; That is what?


CHARLIE; MILF!


BEN; Ok, that's funny.


JOE; Really?


BEN; Yeah.


CHARLIE; Why are you asking?


BEN; A lady is asking me out, when I tried to know why, she told me she likes me. After some few discussions, she then told me that she is a MILF.


JOE; Why didn't you ask her what she meant?


BEN; I don't think I should.


CHARLIE; You just played like you know what she meant.


BEN; Yeah. So what do you guys think?


JOE; You are fine.


CHARLIE; What!?


BEN; What do she actually want?


JOE; She wants something deep, real deep.


CHARLIE; I think the meaning of MILF just told you.


BEN; Wow, wow, wow, I don't get it.


JOE; Get what, dude!?


CHARLIE; You will be her sex provider.


BEN; What do you mean "sex provider"?


JOE; You will always be there when she is wet.


BEN; Always?


CHARLIE; Yeah, it is going to be your occupation.


BEN; A "sex provider"?


JOE; Yeah, you sound new.


BEN; But I see many guys like us date such older lady, is it that thse ladies are all on this MILF thing?


CHARLIE; Nope.


JOE; Some are cougars and some are nanny.


BEN; Only?


CHARLIE; Nope, those are the few popular one around here.


BEN; Ok. But I thought a cougar is an animal in the cat family.


JOE; Yeah, me too.


CHARLIE; But it's not.


JOE; It is an older lady also, but this time not bent on sex.


BEN; But she wants it?


CHARLIE; Yeah.


BEN; So what is she bent on?


CHARLIE; She just wants a younger lover...


JOE; A cub, some call it.


CHARLIE; ...to love and to pamper and to touch her, sometimes.


BEN; And a nanny?


CHARLIE; She is such a lady, but spends more money on you like she is buying you off.


BEN; They are cool.


JOE; Yeah, I think so.


CHARLIE; You should be asking which is the coolest.


BEN; Then which is the coolest?


JOE; A nanny.


CHARLIE; A cougar.


BEN; Then what is wrong with the MILF? I think I like that one.


CHARLIE; You want to be a f*cklicant, right?


BEN; Yeah.


JOE; You should note that they all are f*ckalbe.


CHARLIE; Yeah.


BEN; Can I get a recap?


CHARLIE; Yeah, I think so.


JOE; They are all above 40.


CHARLIE; The cougar ranges from 40 to 47; location depends.


JOE; The MILF ranges from 40 to infinity.


BEN; Wow, that's deep.


CHARLIE; Sounds like you have an aim.


JOE; The nanny ranges the same as for the cougar.


BEN; So, what about appearing with them on a social event?


CHARLIE; It sounds good, it looks good and it feels good.


JOE; Everyone will be forced to see you as a big guy, a kick arse dude.


BEN; This sounds kinky.


CHARLIE; Hey guy.


BEN; Yeah.


CHARLIE; Give her the green light.


BEN; Sure.

Pussy Cats in Kuching

Charlie; Hey man.

Joe; Hey.

Charlie; You are scarce.

Joe; Yeah, just hunting.

Charlie; Hunting what?

Joe; Pussy cats.

Charlie; Pussy cats!?

Joe; Yeah.

Charlie; What for?

Joe; Pleasures, you know.

Charlie [smile]; Pleasures.

Joe; Yeah.

Charlie; What kind of pleasures.

Joe; We are in Kuching, right?

Charlie; Of course.

Joe; And there are lots of pussy cats here.

Charlie; Yeap

Joe; then go do some hunting.

Charlie; Get this hunting thing straight, please.

Joe; You know what a p*ssy is?

Charlie; Jesus yes!

Joe; These girls are cats and they’ve got p*ssies.

Charlie; Oh!

Joe; Yeah. There are lots of animal cats here, and so are there lots of pussy cats here.

Charlie; So before I get to the p*ssy, I must get to the cat?

Joe; Not the cat, the pussy cat , dude!

Charlie; Oh the pussy cat. So how many have you tracked down?

Joe; I can’t really count cause I don’t keep records. Three, four, a week.

Charlie; Wow, you are really deep in this pussy cat hunting thing.

Joe; Yeah.

Charlie; Do you hunt older or younger pussy cats or both?

Joe; Hey, dude! A pussy cat is a pussy cat; and I don’t mind the colour either.

The lift

[On Charlie's way to school]

Jane; Hey Charlie.

Charlie; Hi Jane. Want a lift?

Jane; No thanks.

Charlie; You are trekking.

Jane; Yeah, I know.

Charlie; Why not come in and feel at home?

Jane; This same thing happened the last time and you screwed up.

Charlie; Yeah, I know. It won't happen again.

Jane; Promise?

Charlie; Yeah, I think so.

Jane; No, don't think, just tell me.

Charlie; No, it won't happen again.

Jane; Ok [Entered his car]

[On thier way]

Charlie; So....

Jane; So what?

Charlie; I mean, where am I going to drop you?

Jane; Hello, this is Monday morning, it is school hour. We go to the same school.

Charlie; God, I almost forgot.

Jane [taking a deep breathe]; Really?

Charlie; Yeah. What is that smell?

Jane; What smell?

Charlie; It smells like chicken.

Jane; Where is it coming from?

Charlie; Your position...bring your hand.

Jane; What?

Charlie; Your hand, Chika.

[She did as he said]

Charlie; Wow! Did you do that?

Jane; Do what?

Charlie; Hey, you are not talking to a kid, or a kindagating arsehole. I am a grown arse idiot. I have done this thing before, to many girls.

Jane; Done what?

Charlie; Did you do yourself?

Jane; Do myself what!?

Charlie; Alright, relax. Did you do that?

Jane; Alright, I did.

Charlie; That is awesome! That smells nice, makes me want to eat you.

Jane; You will never see that chance.

Charlie; Really?

Jane; Yeah, really.

Charlie; But how did you do it?

Jane; I was trying to know something about my...

Charlie; ...thing?

Jane; Yeah. I decided to go down on myself.

Charlie; Was it sweet?

Jane; Yeah.

Charlie; I mean, for you doing yourself.

Jane; Not all that. I am not a lesbian.

Charlie; Why not we forget about class and hook-up?

Jane; What! This is just a new dawn, we still have tonight.

Charlie; Really?

Jane; Yeah. How good is he.

Charlie; He is nice.

Jane; How nice, pretty boy?

Charlie; He is bold and strong.

Jane; Like a hose?

Charlie; Yeah, like a hose, a big one.

Jane; How big.

Charlie; I am not a sexologist, so I can't measure it.

Jane; But you want to be my doctor tonight?

Charlie; Of course.

Jane; How big is the hose, fireman?

Charlie; Just calm down. All you have to know now is that is it big enough to put out your fire.

Jane; After class....

Charlie; Yeah, after class. Wow! I still have math.

Jane; Do you want to loose your patient?

Charlie; No, miss.

Jane; Its after class.

[On Charlie's way to school]

Jane; Hey Charlie.

Charlie; Hi Jane. Want a lift?

Jane; No thanks.

Charlie; You are trekking.

Jane; Yeah, I know.

Charlie; Why not come in and feel at home?

Jane; This same thing happened the last time and you screwed up.

Charlie; Yeah, I know. It won't happen again.

Jane; Promise?

Charlie; Yeah, I think so.

Jane; No, don't think, just tell me.

Charlie; No, it won't happen again.

Jane; Ok [Entered his car]

[On thier way]

Charlie; So....

Jane; So what?

Charlie; I mean, where am I going to drop you?

Jane; Hello, this is Monday morning, it is school hour. We go to the same school.

Charlie; God, I almost forgot.

Jane [taking a deep breathe]; Really?

Charlie; Yeah. What is that smell?

Jane; What smell?

Charlie; It smells like chicken.

Jane; Where is it coming from?

Charlie; Your position...bring your hand.

Jane; What?

Charlie; Your hand, Chika.

[She did as he said]

Charlie; Wow! Did you do that?

Jane; Do what?

Charlie; Hey, you are not talking to a kid, or a kindagating arsehole. I am a grown arse idiot. I have done this thing before, to many girls.

Jane; Done what?

Charlie; Did you do yourself?

Jane; Do myself what!?

Charlie; Alright, relax. Did you do that?

Jane; Alright, I did.

Charlie; That is awesome! That smells nice, makes me want to eat you.

Jane; You will never see that chance.

Charlie; Really?

Jane; Yeah, really.

Charlie; But how did you do it?

Jane; I was trying to know something about my...

Charlie; ...thing?

Jane; Yeah. I decided to go down on myself.

Charlie; Was it sweet?

Jane; Yeah.

Charlie; I mean, for you doing yourself.

Jane; Not all that. I am not a lesbian.

Charlie; Why not we forget about class and hook-up?

Jane; What! This is just a new dawn, we still have tonight.

Charlie; Really?

Jane; Yeah. How good is he.

Charlie; He is nice.

Jane; How nice, pretty boy?

Charlie; He is bold and strong.

Jane; Like a hose?

Charlie; Yeah, like a hose, a big one.

Jane; How big.

Charlie; I am not a sexologist, so I can't measure it.

Jane; But you want to be my doctor tonight?

Charlie; Of course.

Jane; How big is the hose, fireman?

Charlie; Just calm down. All you have to know now is that is it big enough to put out your fire.

Jane; After class....

Charlie; Yeah, after class. Wow! I still have math.

Jane; Do you want to loose your patient?

Charlie; No, miss.

Jane; Its after class.